Dear Lior,
Papa and I usually hold the strangest conversations.
This morning, we decided to have a debate about his righteousness and how far he'd go to protect it. You see, I absolutely love giving hypothetical situations to people because their answers give so much about them. I asked your Papa if. IF. And I knocked thrice just so I jinx it. If he had a child who were sick but the only means of cure is to accept help from a shady guy who is willing to lend money in return of some favours once he becomes someone of power.
He said that he will not, in any possible way, cheat for money even if it was over his child's life. He had several good arguments but like always, we are polar opposites when it comes to discussions like this. And even though it didn't come as much of a surprise to me, there is something peculiar about your Papa's morals. I know that it is one of the greatest things about him but over a child? Really? However it might be as well be his greatest downfall. I believe someone's best trait is also his worse. And you know what your Papa's.
Love, there is no way am I telling you that there are days that it is okay to trick other people to your advantage. Never. I do not want to die cultivating a monster because that is not who you are. I'm just saying that when it comes to the worst of circumstances, regardless of how much you stand tall with your principles, I think it is significant to reassess your priorities. And the only thing I am referring to here is family.
If it were me, my love, I would absolutely give everything for you. Especially when it is a matter of life or death. Of course it is not something I would want to do but given the chance, you over someone else, it is always going to be you. I would kill someone in a heartbeat, or launder money, or plan a terrorist attack. Regardless. I know that it is unbelievably selfish of me to think that your life is so much more important than others but baby, in my world it is. You are my whole world, Lior. I hope one day you realize that. I hope that you will never take it against me for loving you too much. Honestly, I am terrified of you growing up because as much as I do not want to hinder you from experiences I do not think I can just watch by seeing you frustrated or be troubled. Hopefully, I work on that.
It is best to say that sometimes children never appreciate the miles their parents are willing to go far for them. I am terribly lucky to have a set of parents who has been consistently showing me how it is to become a good parent. They are my role models and even if they don't make the best decisions, I'd still love to be even just the half of a parent they are. We all learn best from the people around us and maybe one day you can also pass it on to your children.
I love you so much, Lior. You are my light.
Yours forever and always,
Mama.
