Dear Lior,
Today is July 1 of 2013. This marks the first year I have ever mustered up all the courage I could get to tell daddy about you. It wasn't easy. It was the hardest thing I had to in life. Of course, next to giving birth to you. But that's another story.
I actually thought of buying myself a cake because it is such a milestone for me. I still don't know how I was able to do it. I honestly could remember dad's eyes when I told him. How it reflected disappointment, anger and pity.
It was a Sunday and dad was watching a movie. I met up with papa outside and took him inside.We still tried to argue about postponing. We sat beside dad and that is when I started bawling. I could not even say anything but sorry and he figured it out from there. There was no sermon, no acts of aggression but I knew he wanted to cry. He asked your papa about plans, about everything. I thought he was going to do something rude to papa but of course, daddy is the most courteous person I know, he wouldn't do that. But I knew we deserve any punishment he can think of but that is not how unconditional love works, my love. And I am so damn proud of the love he has been showing us ever since.
Recalling that day still gives me shivers. It was difficult and I don't mind everyone being disappointed at me because I knew it is the price I had to pay but even then, when I saw dad and heard whatever he needed to say to us that day, it is one of the hardest things I ever had to endure. Nothing feels as worse as disappointing your parents. More so, my dad because he is the best father in the world and by saying that, it is still an understatement.
Right then, I knew that the only way I could ever repay everything he did for me is through continuing to pursue my dreams and be the best parent imaginable for you. I know I could do both I just need some time.
You know what, Light? I will do everything all over again if it meant having you. You are worth it. Even beyond it. Thank you for your ray of sunshine. I will love you always always always.
Love,
Mama
