It's a Tuesday and Mama is at school. One day, you will go to school too. And most days, you will hate it but always know that education is the best jump start to success. It is also the most rewarding thing parents can offer to their children and I sure hope that as you are reading this some time in the future, you are also enrolled in one of the best schools in our country. Which is why, Papa and I have to go to school and exert extra effort now that you are here.
Earlier today before meeting up with your Ninang Sid, I saw a baby being carried by her older brother which I assume is just a few years older than her. It's a little strange to have some 6 year old (or at least he looked like he's 6) carrying an infant and be so ragged -- for the lack of a better word. However, what I could not possibly wrap my mind around the fact that their mother aggressively shouted at the little boy that he is in charge of taking care of the baby girl. How is that even possible? When he should be in school feeding his mind with lessons yet there he is, being commanded to do something he is not responsible for? What kind of life are they going to live when their mum who is obviously suffering from learned helplessness cannot provide them even the most basic of their needs?
I am aware that we had you in a predicament where neither papa and I could give the things you need right now but we are all surrounded with people who are willing to help and that is a blessing. And we could not be more thankful for that. But you know love, this is why I am here I'm studying. Because sooner or later, I will be the one to give you the things you need and want for that is my responsibility as a parent. And that is what I want to give to you.
How comical it is though, that some parents have the guts to place their liabilities over the shoulder of a very young boy. If I could shoot them at an instant, I would. Partly because I am heartless but mostly because they have no right to live. If your mere existence is a burden to someone else more than it is a blessing, you should be stripped of your prerogative to even exist. The moment two souls decide on having to start a family together, certain laws apply to them which should be inculcated deep in their hearts. It is in default. You live to give your children a comfortable life. You're here to pour with the things they deserve regardless of how deserving they are. You do it. Because that is your job and because you love them.
I hope never to jinx this but I promise you that you will get everything you deserve and so so so much more. That is how I'm committed to you and to this parent-child relationship. Every day, for the rest of my life, is a consistent show of effort to shower you with everything. Every child deserves a responsible, caring parent. And I am sure as hell you have two of that kind.
I have always told your Papa that I could not even imagine myself having another child because I want you to be rotten spoilt but not to the extent you develop some abnormal thinking that you should always get anything you want. We will always have things in moderation. Anyway, your Papa and I are always in a heated conversation as to how many children we would like to have. I incessantly make my point that I want you to be our only. He wants a big family but he isn't the one who suffers for 9 months plus the horrendous pain of child birth so I guess this is my call.
Nevertheless, I want to always remind you that each waking day is for you.
No one but you. And each achievement is for your future. For our future.
Never ever think that you deserve anything short of fine. You deserve only the best.
Don't even think of mediocrity. I hate that. You should too.
I love you to the ends of the Earth and yet still further even then.
Love,
Mama
