I was raised in a household where sleep really holds its value. Especially to mom.
When I was in grade school and most especially on school nights, she made sure that right after dinner and the half bath shower, it's time for bed.
When I was in grade school and most especially on school nights, she made sure that right after dinner and the half bath shower, it's time for bed.
This has always been a problem with me, of course, because even then I've been having a hard time sleeping. And while I was with Kym the entire time, she has this strange habit of automatically dozing off the moment she lies down regardless if she was pooped the whole day.
But I didn't.
And there was no internet then -- no iPads, no eBooks, no Netflix to lull me to sleep. Right at that very moment, I get so scared and so sad that even when I knew there everyone else was downstairs, I felt alone.
There was nothing special in the room. It was your ordinary bedroom; bare of television sets, of glamourous lighting, even of decorations. But there was this touch-sensitive lamp I will never forget.
I was around nine then and there was nothing else to keep me company but to play with the touch lamp that only reeks of orange light. It reminds me so much of the nights I have to force myself to do something I really didn't like. And maybe, it sounds petty now but it does not disregard how I felt. Alone and sad.
And that is the story why I hate incadescent bulbs.
And why being alone is easily one of my greatest fears.
But like all things else in my life, that changed too to something scarier. Much, much scarier.
It's losing you.
I'm telling you, Cheng. There are many things in this world that I can survive and I'm a pretty strong girl. But I will never be able to live in a world without you in it. So please, if you should love anything, make it yourself. Make yourself your number one priority -- your happiness, your safety, your sanity. I'm not telling you this to be selfish. I'm just letting you know I'm latching myself on you. I love you so much it's crazy. I know you'll know how this feels like one day.
Until then, you're still my baby.
Love always, Mama
I was around nine then and there was nothing else to keep me company but to play with the touch lamp that only reeks of orange light. It reminds me so much of the nights I have to force myself to do something I really didn't like. And maybe, it sounds petty now but it does not disregard how I felt. Alone and sad.
And that is the story why I hate incadescent bulbs.
And why being alone is easily one of my greatest fears.
But like all things else in my life, that changed too to something scarier. Much, much scarier.
It's losing you.
I'm telling you, Cheng. There are many things in this world that I can survive and I'm a pretty strong girl. But I will never be able to live in a world without you in it. So please, if you should love anything, make it yourself. Make yourself your number one priority -- your happiness, your safety, your sanity. I'm not telling you this to be selfish. I'm just letting you know I'm latching myself on you. I love you so much it's crazy. I know you'll know how this feels like one day.
Until then, you're still my baby.
Love always, Mama
